A few "Odd" things about me

My family has always told me I was odd-- the “odd ball” they called me. I’ve spent some time examining this and it makes me laugh because on the spectrum of normal to strange, I think I fall a lot closer to normal, maybe even a little boring. I’m quiet, reserved, cautious and very particular about certain things. I’m VERY different from the rest of my family and even my closest friends. But odd, well I don’t know. I say I’m a creative and with that comes intricacies to my day to day. To name a few... 

Fat Filled Coffee: I start my day with a cup of coffee filled with fat. It’s not so much the caffeine that I need but the experience. My husband and I brew freshly ground coffee in a French Press to make what is known as Bullet Proof Coffee (BPC) with an added shot of expresso. I’m 5’4” and usually weigh no more than 115lbs but I start almost every day with a delicious cup of high fat coffee every morning and I never add sweeteners. I know I'm not alone in this, look it up, it's a real thing, it's a staple to the Ketogenic way of eating. Consuming lots of (good) fat is apparently a great way to stay skinny. Weird huh? 

I LOVE Harry Potter: As of writing this, I’m working my way through the Harry Potter series (all 7 books) on Audible for the 5th time in 2 years. Secrets out… Maybe I’ve got a Harry Potter problem? I just really love listening to the stories! J.K. Rowling is a phenomenal writer and Jim Dale narrates the series with perfection. It's like listening to a good album- never gets old! Anyone else with me on this one? 

Stay out of my seat: In my house, I have certain spots where I sit and no one else can sit there. If we’re sitting down to dinner and someone is in my seat I get really antsy. My husband thinks it’s hilarious, especially if the person who’s sitting in my seat is someone new who’s visiting and in an attempt to be polite I don’t ask them to move.

There’s more to add I’m sure, but really, in my opinion, none of these things are that odd, it’s just me and the things I do. I’m a creative, I feel like that gives me a pass to be a little particular.
You- reading this… what’s your thing? I’m sure you’ve got something odd about you too! 

Angel on the Other Side

From way back in the day: Auntie Diane on the left & my mother on the right. 

I wrote this for my cousins who lost their mother a few days ago. And for my uncle who lost his partner in life, his wife. 

Angel on the Other Side

They say you’re on the other side. 
Where is that? A place so far away.
A place I can’t see. 

If you’re on the other side,
why is it that when I close my eyes, 
I’m met with memories so vivid and real. 
I can smell your skin and hear your laugh. 

This other side, it just can’t be. 
These memories are like roads
Twisting and turning
They are fast and slow
I fear I am lost. 
No matter how hard I try,
I just can’t find the other side. 

Suddenly you appear, hand on my chest. 
And then you say:
Relax my love. I’m resting in your heart. 
Beating with you and for you.
I’ll be your music and we’ll travel on together. 
Love always, your angel on the other side.

Birthday Magic

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The magic moment- the birthday wish!

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Cait as a silly 2 year old

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Cait as a 10 year old- posing with Rachel

It’s surreal to think that 10 years ago I became a mother for the first time. 

10 years ago, I was 20. I was young, I had no idea what I was doing and for the first 6 years of my daughter’s life, I was a single parent. When I look back those early years were really a struggle, I was totally winging it, but she didn’t know it and she loved me anyway. I think that’s how it goes with the firsts for everyone and that’s what makes first borns that much more special. As my Caitie Bug grew, I grew. As she learned, I learned. Now she’s 10 and I almost can’t believe it. Time goes by so fast. 

My good friend Rachel, founder and director of the Old Glory Legacy Foundation provided the venue for an awesome party complete with horseback riding and a piñata. Side note: piñatas require LOTS of candy and I didn’t get nearly enough! 

This was Caitlyn’s 2nd time requesting and having birthday party out at Rachel’s which I’m totally ok with because the photo-ops are always awesome. Caitlyn always goes with the same theme as well: mustaches and cowgirls (& boys). We grilled hotdogs and s’mores for the kids, not really my kind of food but birthday parties require exceptions. The biggest exception was the birthday cake, I love baking but ran out of time so we went with a Cold Stone Creamery ice-cream cake! It was amazing… I had two slices (another birthday party exception).

Below are some of the magical moments I was able to capture at the birthday party. 

I have 3 other kids to throw parties for this year and need some inspiration for awesomeness so I’d love to hear some ideas and birthday stories in the comments below. 

And incase you didn't know, I do offer birthday party and event photography services. Visit my events page for details!

Black swans and luck

In the last year or two, I've found myself on a pretty good path career wise. I feel like I'm on my way to success. Was it all of my hard work or was it luck? Maybe both. In connecting the dots of past events I realize my life has been made up of a series of black swan events. Both good and bad, but it's those black swan events that got me to the here and now… the present where I find myself accomplishing the things I thought were impossible. 

So what are black swan events?  According to Nassim Nicholas Taleb "A black swan is an event, positive or negative, that is deemed improbable yet causes massive consequences" 

As said by Basecamp's Jason Fried "When you look back on events, it’s pretty incredible how things come together. Nothing happens independently. Everything is tied to something before it. Sometimes the links are more obvious than others, but it’s healthy to take a few moments to reflect on how many things – and people – had to come together in order for another thing to happen."

Believe it or not, these black swan events aren't just sheer luck, they aren't as random as we'd like to believe. Its just a matter of opening yourself up to them. And obviously, its the positive black swans -- the ones that attract unlikely bouts of extreme good fortune that we'd like to attract, not the contrary. To win the lotto one has to make a conscious effort to drive to the store, hand over the cash and obtain the tickets. Winning is definitely luck, but it would have NEVER happened if this person wouldn't have set themselves up for it. With that said, below are a few of the things that I believe will open the doors for the unexpected bouts of good fortune we'd all love to encounter. 

Follow your own style:

Stop worrying about what everyone else likes. I mean, yes take some of it into consideration, but for the most part be original.

Invest in what you love:

Slowly and consistently invest your time in what you enjoy doing. The important thing is a build up. Grow your hobby, build connections and surround yourself with like minded people. Have fun and take a few chances. Have an adventure. Along the way you will open yourself up to opportunities, perhaps one of these opportunities will be the chance to jump into the deep end and make a living out of your hobby. 

Be good to others:

Ever hear the saying "what goes around comes around"? How you interact with others can be the ultimate black swan generator, wether it be positive or negative. People love to name throw. Eventually someone is going to say a (hopefully good) thing or two about you to the right person at the right time and what is said may just lead to your big break. So be kind. 

Understand that you can't force success. Sometimes it is luck, but that luck has to be influenced. Think of the random (positive) black swans that got you to where you are today. How did you influence them?

I quit my day job

In my last blog post I wrote about more to follow on some changes, so here is my more to follow… 

I started my career in the arts about a decade ago when the U.S. Airforce told me I was to serve as a graphic designer and later a photographer. Somewhere along the way I took myself off of that career path for a higher paying one with the U.S. Army. So for the past 4 years I've been working away at a job where I was unhappy. Something important to note is that at my Army job, I spent most of my days reviewing soldier suicide investigations for release to their next of kin. Doing this everyday was a real strain on a creative soul like myself. As a creative, I visualize everything... words come to life. I kept thinking that with each pay raise perhaps happiness would follow.

Almost 2 years ago my second child was born and while I was on maternity leave I picked my camera back up and realized what was missing. In time, I took on a few long term freelance opportunities, started scheduling photography sessions and fine tuning the skills that I had been neglecting. My time spent creating brought me the happiness and job satisfaction that I deeply desired. During the day I had my Army job, at night I had design and photography commitments to fulfil. I thought it would slow down or fizzle but it didn't, it picked up. It got to the point where everyday that I went to "work" I was watching the clock, waiting to go home only to go right back to work. Work was all I did.

After much thinking and discussing with my husband, we realized what had to be done… it was time. So here I am today, Monday December 16th, my first official week of full time self employment! This is both exciting and scary. Instead of sifting through hundreds of pages of documents, I am sitting at my desk, at home, taking a break from creating to accomplish something that I have rarely had the time for before now… updating my blog... connecting with those who desire to know more about me and what I have to offer. I am finally back on the right track and feeling very satisfied. 

If you have some words of wisdom to offer or a similar experience to share, please feel free to leave a comment below. 

Autumn thoughts

Autumn has always been my favorite time of the year. To me Autumn means long runs through brightly colored trails, cool weather, pumpkins, and the crisp smell of the crunchy leaves beneath my feet. I wish it would last longer :)

In addition to all of the wonderful things fall brings, there is of course Thanksgiving. A time to reflect and think about all of the things I have to be thankful for. And I truly have a lot to be thankful for. In particular I am thankful for all of those who have supported my small business, especially those who have afforded me the opportunity to capture their special moments. I am forever thankful for my husband, my family and my friends for all that they put up with as I work to accomplish all that is required of me as a photographer and a designer.

As I look forward to the new year, I have a lot of big ideas and very important goals. More to follow on that line, just know that I will be working very hard and will be a lot more active in my sharing via this here blog and social media so stay tuned.

With that said, Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Thank you for stopping by.

Slow shuttered memories

Back when I was at DINFOS (military photo school) the instructors drilled one thing (among many others) into our heads: "photography is subjective". I loved that, as an artist I loved being able to throw that word out there. Subjective was my license to shoot my way and claim "subjective" if my boss didn't like it. But I never really had that problem, people loved my work. I shot that way for a few years but when I got out of the Air Force, I did a brain dump got a non-photo job and fell into a rut. I forgot about my favorite word and started listening to people who were not photographers. They would tell me that I should do poses and props and look at what other photographers were doing. And what did I do? I accepted their bad advice. I started downing my style, trying to change it... Trying to fit in. And for what? It got me no where but disappointed in myself. 

But good news, I woke up. It's taken me a while but after much headache, I've officially welcomed the real photographer in myself back.

When I hit the shutter release button on a camera I am looking through the lens and capturing what I see. I've always believed there to be something very sacred about capturing an image. I like to call it freezing a moment. In my mind, that's what I do. It's like magic and I'm very passionate about it. To sum it up, I'm your shoot it as I see it and most importantly feel it photographer and there's no reason for me or anyone else to ever feel pressured to deviate from that. 

Here's a good example of what i'm talking about. A few years ago when we first learned that my grandmother had Alzheimer's, when things were only slightly crazy at family gatherings, I got my camera out and photographed the evening as it was unfolding. I hate the way flash looks so I kept it off, cranked the ISO as high as I could get it, set the camera to the widest aperture, lowest shutter speed and with the camera glued to my face I hung out with my family. The series of photos I'm about to post are in my opinion my best because of the emotion I was able to capture and the story I was able to tell with the images. Things got hectic, my grandma was anxious, kids were crying, my mom was in a cleaning frenzy, but I kept shooting. For me, that's what it's all about. That is who I am as a photographer and why I love being behind my camera.

Update: My grandmother has since passed away. 
I'm so grateful that I have these images, these frozen moments.